Put an end to photos, gifts, souvenirs, letters and of course, cut contact with him.
That is why it is also essential to delete it from social networks and not stalk, after all, if you want to end your cigarette addiction, you cannot leave a pack on the table, right? The reasoning is the same.
You need to remove the “perfect love and relationship” lens that you put on after the breakup. When you see him without projections and idealizations, and remember the real characteristics of your ex, you will deconstruct the longing and the desire to be with him.
To really understand how to forget someone, make a list of all the negative aspects they had in the relationship – from the smallest to the largest – and refer to that note whenever you miss them. When you send that real message from someone that was not good to your brain, it stimulates the unconscious to want to keep its distance.
Do you need help to remember the bad times you lived? Then ask yourself the following:
Remember that day he was thick? And when did you do that and he didn’t even thank you? Did you need it and didn’t have the support? He betrayed you? Did he lie to you, either with silly or huge things? Did you treat your family badly? Didn’t you want to do things that were important to you? Did it make your friends upset? Have you broken up with nothing? Did you leave just like that (look here an excellent reason to remember even if everything was wonderful)? Was the relationship abusive? Did he make you feel diminished? Have you lost your chemistry? How long were they without sex? And without a kiss? And without giving hugs? Were you no longer his priority? Was he always busy? Has he ever yelled at you? Did you catch him talking with others? Couldn’t you participate in his programs anymore? Was your life as a couple an unbearable routine? Did he make no effort to improve dating or marriage? Were you already indifferent in his life? Wasn’t he more loving? Did he give you cake and stick with you? Was he not considerate of the things you asked for to improve the relationship?
Do this analysis, create your “release list” and hold on tightly to the certainty that he was not all that you think he is.
You need to understand that the relationship you had is not exactly the one you would like to have. And to be very clear about what you wanted from a relationship X that your ex gave you, I leave an exercise in self-knowledge that will be extremely important in this search for how to forget someone.
Make two lists, each divided into two columns with the following topics: What I wanted from the relationship x What my ex gave me, and write down all the insights and memories that come to mind.
– I wanted my ex to participate in my programs, for him to be with me on my friends’ birthdays // He still didn’t worry about what was important to me, he never dedicated himself to accompanying me, only I gave up things by him
– I wanted a relationship with more affection, that he kissed me, that he had chemistry.